A Pregnancy Miracle
A diagnosis & a story of faith.
Photos by HELLO JUDE PHOTOGRAPHY Newborn & Family Photographer
A few thoughts. Before you read. Preface.
Ava Joy was born on October 14th weighing 6 pounds & measuring 19 inches. Healthy. Whole. & Complete.
The name Ava is a Hebrew derivative of ‘Eve’ & means life. We have been speaking & praying life over her from the beginning.
I could start from the beginning, with early bleeding, & I could tell you about all the details of my pregnancy. — What matters to me is that you know what God did for us. That I share with you our miracle story. We are here, fully grateful, & living in the power of answered prayers. God’s protection. Favor. Mercy. & Faithfulness.
PSALM 16 was a scripture given + chosen for 2021. I clung to these words throughout my pregnancy. I prayed it over myself, my marriage, & her. Psalm 16 begins with “Preserve me, oh God.” It ends with “In His presence, there is fullness of joy.”
As you read, I hope you notice how God made himself known to me. How he was WITH me. In the midst of hard news, I was reminded of & able to recite His truth's + promises. To process. To fight back. To speak life. To hold on for hope. To find comfort in the midst.
22 weeks pregnant
I sat staring out a window in the doctors office. I had just received an ultrasound where the technician was focused & only shared a few words. My heart had already started sinking. I knew something wasn’t right.
Everything is okay until they say it’s not.
I tried to convince myself.
I tried to have faith.
In my mind, I felt God say:
This isn’t going to be good news.
It’s going to be hard.
I am with you.
It’s going to be okay.
I repeated to myself:
I’m not about to receive good news.
This is going to be hard. Hard to hear? Hard to live?
He is with me.
It’s going to be okay.
Faith looked like saying yes to walking the hard with Him.
The doctor arrived & shared: “You have what we call chorion-amniotic separation.” C-H-O-R…
My placenta & amniotic sac did not fuse together properly. They were separated. Given this diagnosis, I was notified that a preterm delivery was imminent & anticipated to occur within 2 weeks time.
“You have to make it to 24 weeks.” She said.
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39
I shared the news with Levi. We shared the news with our immediate family. We attempted to educate ourselves with the little & absolutely terrible information available to us on the internet. With any preterm delivery, all sorts of life complications can become a potential challenge. You can easily wear yourself out mentally cycling through all the what-ifs.
We began to pray. Levi & I dared to pray wild & bold prayers. We humbly came to God as his son & daughter. It became a rally in our hearts: October 10th. 10.10. A perfect 10. Full term.
WHAT I WROTE DOWN:
I’m caught in-between the reality of what doctors are saying & then fighting for, believing in, hoping for the opposite.
We’re operating on holy time.
I am full of faith.
I am willing to walk in all He has for us.
I am watching. Waiting. Expectant for God to do what God does. LOVE.
There’s a weighty understanding of wrestling with your faith & knowing this is exactly where I’m supposed to be & what I’m supposed to be doing. This time matters.
Life continued to move forward.
At this point, we were referred to maternal & fetal medicine doctors. High risk doctors. My routine visits would increase to 2-3x a week. Bedrest. (Sure. That’s possible with an active 3-year-old.)
We began to prepare for the arrival of our daughter.
the next 16 weeks (4 months)
Continued appointments each week. One for me. One for her. One with high risk doctors.
Get genetic testing. Pass genetic testing.
Placental dysfunction. Concern for growth + nutrition.
Fetal growth restriction. Below percentile, but always just enough weight.
Monitoring amniotic fluid levels. Plenty.
Monitoring blood flow & oxygen. Adequate blood flow between baby & placenta.
Start medication to prolong pregnancy. Always enough to not be hospitalized.
Biophysical profiles. Failed practice breathings. Pass secondary screenings.
Reduced fetal movement. Unexpected visits to Labor & Delievery. “She’s okay”.
12 different diagnoses & challenges.
Bloodwork & lab appointments. Pass. Pass. Pass.
The on-going list of thoughts associated with everything being “wrong” with me. All the gratefulness that it was me & not her.
A see-saw of emotions.
Levi taking time off of work.
A 3-year-old that doesn’t understand.
Nurses & Doctors cheering us on & in awe that we continued to keep going.
It’s as if we were on a cliff. The ground beneath us was solid. But all around was a potential for hurt & hard & even loss.
the rain fell, the rivers rose, & the winds blew & pounded that house. Yet it didn’t collapse, because its foundation was on the rock.
Matthew 7:25
I never knew how grateful I could be to make it another day & another week at a time.
With each day & each week, we quietly celebrated.
We were always on the edge. But always safe. Everything that was “separated”, “didn’t fuse”, “is abnormal” — The Lord held it together.
He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
Colossians 1:17
While we didn’t tell many people personally, the ones who knew were there for us.
Most importantly (& the one I’m forever grateful for): People PRAYED FOR US. Somehow, there were people near. People far. People across the country. People I had never met. People were genuinely caring & praying for her. For us.
We knew it was making all the difference.
Everything we were warned about & being prepared for came to pass.
I was induced at 38 weeks.
NO hospitalizations.
NO delivery complications.
NO premature delivery.
NO NICU.
A HEALTHY, WHOLE, & COMPLETE baby girl.
A HEALTHY mother.
She came home in 48 hours.
we’re living in answered prayers
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
Psalm 16:6
Through it all,
I've learned to trust in Jesus,
I've learned to trust in God.
Through it all,
I've learned to depend upon His Word.
I thank God for the mountains,
and I thank Him for the valleys,
I thank Him for the storms He brought me through.
For if I'd never had a problem,
I wouldn't know God could solve them,
I'd never know what faith in God could do.
Andrae Edward Crouch
