Becoming Proactive In Prayer

This post originally appeared on the Val Marie Paper blog.

I’m caught in the middle of who I am & who I want to be. Where I am & where I’m going. What I know & what I feel. I embrace the in-between as I start each morning.

Most days, I wake up early. I sneak my way downstairs to a worn-in spot on the couch to read my Bible, to write what I’m learning, to pray for the needs of the day.

At each meal. Pray.

A friend comes to mind. Pray. 

Husband at work. Pray.

I don’t know what to do. Pray.

The ambulance drove by. Pray.

Watching my little one sleep. Pray.

The text: Will you pray for me? Pray.

At church. Pray.

I was careless when it came to prayer. I had a reactive approach and I prayed from the mindset of where I was.

Enter this lovely linen, spiral-bound notebook with gold foil on the front, and pages waiting to be filled. I invested in the notebook.

I decided to care about my prayer life.
I decided blue.

It took courage, imperfect courage, to be honest with myself and God–to name what is & to know faith.

There’s joy in the effort.

As I began, I didn’t dismiss where I was, but I started to pray from the stance of where I wanted to be.

This prayer journal made me proactive.

My prayer life became meaningful.
My understanding of His character widened.
My affection for others deepened.

Not in my world, Lord, but may it be so in Your world.
I prayed for those nearest to me and those farthest from Him.
Everything in my head and on my heart, I gave to Him.

Along the way, I learned a secret: Keep it open.
On the coffee table. The kitchen counter. The bedside table. On my desk.
“Just keep it open”, I’d tell myself.

Be proactive to meet with the One who makes your life matter.

It became a collection of truths and encouragement for me as I prepared to walk the days ahead. My natural bent to see Him as merely useful shifted. I started remembering Him, who He was and who He is.

He reminded me that as much as He cares about me living out my faith, he cares far more about my relationship with Him.

Over the course of 12 months, I prayed to a God who does not change but changed me.

It wasn’t the prayer journal, it was God.

There’s joy in the effort when you pray and I’m grateful I decided blue.

I’m caught in the middle of who I am & who I want to be. Where I am & where I’m going. What I know & what I feel. I embrace the in-between as I start each morning with Him.