On Waiting. On Time.
Time feels funny these days. We’re all waiting on something.
Currently, we’re waiting for our dog to find the perfect spot of grass. For packages to find their place by the front door. & For our next temporary home to greet us.
For the day we see our little lady’s face. For clarity on what we do not know. & extra assurance on those we do.
I constantly find myself in this space of wanting to make things happen & feeling like I can’t. (& perhaps also knowing I can’t.)
Wanting to embrace the idea that what will be, will be. & allowing myself to release time from my hands.
A mixture of contradictory thoughts. Feeling one way. Compelled to do another. In-between.
In that space, time seems to stop. But of course it hasn’t.
All of life is in motion. & there is an inner desire to keep moving. I have this idea that if I stop, if I become idle, I will fall apart. & so I have to take my next step.
sometimes the next step is to wait.
Chatting on the couch with my sweet friend one morning, “You’ve got to recognize the road blocks”, she said.
As the week passed, I quieted myself to process & pray about this idea.
I re-learn:
He’s a God of process. & it’s out of His kindness, He brings us to these places. To the road blocks.
There’s beauty in the in-between, if you’re willing to view it that way.
& It is a good thing to remember: He hears your prayers. He knows your heart. He knows your concerns. He will come through.
I learn:
in waiting, i’m being prepared. because what’s coming isn’t something I can do on my own. Carry on my own. Or maintain on my own.
& so while I prefer to get moving, I decide I’m okay with slow. In fact, I’m grateful.
My perspective shifts. & together, Levi & I take the time. To play a game of Skip-Bo. Enjoy a sandwich on the back porch. To take an afternoon walk. & count the turtles. We see the bud of an orchid begin & the pink flowers across the street bloom. We make plans. We change our minds. We show up. We still make the effort. We make big decisions & then we eat Chipotle for dinner. & We watch. We watch time move forward wondering when it will catch up to us.
& when the time comes...
“Ready to go?”, he’ll ask. “Ready to go”, I’ll say.
We’ll take each others hand & realize, we’re here now.
We needn’t wait a single moment.
..we’re right on time. & we have been all along.
This is a story I'm living. & One I'm still learning. May we remember God's best for us is happening today. Right now. For He knows the plans. He has made everything beautiful in its time. & He establishes our steps.
In due time. On time.
Ecclesiastes 3. Jeremiah 29. Proverbs 16.